Member Group: Maladjusted to Maladjustment
There’s a popular narrative today that we all ought to be rebelling against the norms. It’s often black and white, rejecting any and all traditional values. It puts the focus on specific parts of our identities — sex, a diagnosis, race or cultural background, or other identity markers — to help us “outsiders” find acceptance.
What’s more, in this new, postmodern narrative, those identities come with a whole host of things you’re supposed to think and feel.
But what if you don’t think or feel those things? What if what’s designed to help you only ends up hurting you? What if you only feel like an outsider in your own “community” meant for outsiders? Were you ever really outsiders in the first place?
This group is dedicated to those who have encountered the popular values of this culture and rejected them. Whether you are personally out of place in your own minority group or otherwise facing penalties for dissenting from today’s culture of maladjustment, this is a place for you to share your experiences and have your thoughts heard.
The goal, however, is not merely to vent (though it’s okay to start there). In this group, we are not aiming to group together to campaign and fight against what makes us angry. We seek to process this and let it go for the sake of moving towards a healthy community. Metaphorically speaking, in this group we will encourage you to drop your sword to live for your own happiness.
To our group’s founder, it felt impossible at first that others could relate. We at Third Factor, however, can confirm that there are many others out there who are maladjusted to maladjustment itself. If that describes you, we invite you to join this group.
From the Group Leader
I tried for many years to fit my struggles into this narrative, even though I never felt the isolation or misunderstanding that the culture of maladjustment told me I should. Then one day I saw a crack in their philosophy: everything defaulted to one pre-set experience, based on identity. That did make me feel offended, isolated, and misunderstood among the people who claimed to be advocating for me. Now I’m looking to connect with others, from all different groups and causes, who feel the same.
What We Do Together
- First and foremost, we come together to share our experiences and support each other in our maladjustment to maladjustment. We get our “hot takes” off our chests without fear, voicing our frustration and even anger for the purposes of catharsis. The goal is to be heard so we are not always on the defensive.
- As the process continues, we help each other find healthy relationships and community. We can’t always be friendly to others when we’re lacking in friendship ourselves. By venting hot takes here, we can keep them from spilling over in more general spaces; we can aslo get help from others in figuring out how to say what needs to be said, constructively and with confidence. This is not a group to build a bonfire, but to cool off the fire and heal.
- We hold optional Zoom meetings, to get to know each other beyond the written word! With no set agenda beyond connection, this space will be open to members to use how we see fit.
A Note from the Group’s Founder
Don’t let your experience of feeling an outsider keep you trapped! Even this group on its own risks duplicating this dynamic, and should be a support as you climb up out of this, rather than a place to dwell forever. Third Factor has many other forums, and our goal is to complement them, not isolate ourselves from a larger community. I hope to see you in both this group and around in the others.
- Membership is open to those who support Third Factor at the Community Member tier or higher. You can join our community if you’re not already a member; if you’re at the Subscriber Tier, please log in to and upgrade.
- Then, to join this small group, please send a paragraph or so via DM (in our community forum) to organizer Margo Margan describing your experience. If it’s in line with the description above, you will be welcomed into the forum.
- Please join at least one other space to complement this one. Choose any that you like; we think all of them could offer a useful counterpart to the dissenting that you can do in this group.
- Once you join, please post the one comment you most desperately wish you could get off your chest.